This doesn't seem real...

My mind and heart have re-created this moment time and again,
Bringing me back to you.

The nerves in my body so set on rejection.
"You waited too long!
You are forgotten!"
My heart refusing to allow me
The hope of your returned affections,
Trying so hard to rid myself of the longing,
The yearning in my soul to have you back.
To be yours.

I was so afraid.
How could you still want me?
I scorned you.
I brutalized you in my mind,
So certain that I had won.
But year after year,
Loss after loss,
My heart came back to you for comfort.

I watched you,
Absolutely captivated,
My heart in my throat.
And you, oblivious to the power you held over me,
Took me deeper with every smile,
Igniting fireworks in my belly.

And now, as I sit here in dumbfounded silence,
Trying to absord the new-found knowledge of your affections,
I cannot help but wonder if this is all a dream...
And soon I will wake up
Without the light of hope you have given me.

Hope.

A blessing I cannot fathom.